Break Me Down, Break My Walls

Jennifer knew pain & betrayal. She knew how to function within those feelings. It was happiness & trust that terrified her.

Chris watched as boyfriend after boyfriend entered her life & left just as quickly. He almost felt he’d be doing them a favor by stopping them at the door & telling them to leave.

Her fear/pain would always come roaring back with an innocent comment or action. Her walls would fly up quicker & stronger each time and like clockwork, the relationship would be over.

Chris had emotional pain – plenty of it. Both had experienced marriages that ended horribly. He knew he wasn’t ready to date & random late night fucking was where he felt comfortable.

Chris & Jennifer had known each other for a long time. He moved in with Jennifer after his divorce for convenience. Neither one of them like the idea of being alone. It was a perfect fit & whether or not her pride allowed her to say – she felt safe with him.

Jennifer always find herself on the couch talking about how “horribly” her dates went. Chris knew she didn’t even attempt to make a connection.

“Well, another awkward date in the books,” Jennifer said flopping on the couch late one evening. Her wine glass was filled to the brim.

“Hmm…what?” Chris said, halfway tuning out. He was tired of hearing her excuses as to why the date was so bad.

“My date – forget it,” Jennifer said gesturing with her hand.

“I’m too tired to explain”, she said taking a more than generous sip of her wine.

“Did he drive a car instead of a SUV?” Chris asked sarcastically taking a drink of his scotch.

“No…” Jennifer responded looking confused.

“Just curious what bullshit reason you’re going to come up with now.” Chris said looking up from his phone.

“It’s not bullshit, if it doesn’t work than I’m not going to waste my time!” Jennifer angerly responded.

“You know…” Chris said putting his phone down. “Eventually you’re going to have to trust people again and stop pushing everyone away.”

“Don’t rush me, asshole.” Jennifer said taking another big sip of her wine.

“Do I bust in your room with one of your many one night stands and tell you to open up your heart?” she asked glaring at him.

“First off, none of those women were dates” Chris said.

“It’s just two people fucking, getting a need met…that’s it.” He said finishing his drink.

“Oh, I’m sorry I guess I didn’t realize our healing needed to be the exact fucking same.” She said growing more upset.

Chris tried to respond but was cut off.

“You know, some people would consider even TRYING to date was better than fucking anything that walks.” She said.

“Don’t twist the conversation around on me.” He said getting up to get another drink.

“At least I know I’m fucking the pain away – you’re only dating cause he’s moved on & it drives you crazy.” He said entering the kitchen.

“I…that’s not…” she tried to complete her sentence but her tears quickly started to fall.

He entered the room again and saw her on the couch staring at the floor quickly wiping away her tears.

“Hey…” he said softening his voice. “I’m sorry…”

“No, you’re right” she said. “I know I’m not ready”

“I shouldn’t have talked to you like that.” He said sitting down next to her.

“I just don’t like seeing you in pain, especially if it’s because you’re only trying to make that almanbahis adres asshole jealous.” He said laying back on the couch.

“Why wasn’t I good enough?” she said quietly while she curled up next to him.

Chris put his arm around her making Jennifer curl up closer.

“You deserved better than him” he said.

“Doesn’t it bother you that she moved on so quickly?” Jennifer asked.

“Uh… she moved on when we were still married! Hell yeah it hurts but I don’t want to go get some girls hopes up with a date only to never call her back.”

“Oh get over yourself” she said smacking his arm.

“I’m sure after one date with you would be enough to drive anyone away.” She said laughing.

“Do you fuck them as a parting gift cause you’re too afraid to tell them you’re not ever going to call them?” He asked playfully shaking his head in disgust.

“That’s MY business, Chris!” She said sounding offended.

“And yes…yes I do.” She said getting up to get some more wine.

“So…are you sure YOU’RE not the reason the date didn’t work?” he said raising an eyebrow.

“Our walls are pretty thin & you sound boring as hell in bed.” He said

“Oh my GOD – you can hear us?” she said heavily pouring herself another glass.

“Yep! You sound like you couldn’t be anymore uninterested in fucking him.” He said mocking her noises.

“Yeah…right there” he said in a monotone voice.

“…(sigh)…I’m gonna cum” he said pretending to check the time.

Jennifer spit her wine out laughing at the imitation.

“Well at least I’m kind to them afterwards & walk them to the door!” She said

“One time I heard you tell the poor girl to leave cause you had shit to do!” She said laughing.

“I did damnit! Game of Thrones was going to start in 12 hours.” He said laughing.

“Mmmmhmmmm.” She said looking at him.

“You just don’t want to lose control so you kick her out before she bolts for the door.”

“Nah, if she bolted for the door I’d be thrilled.” He said. “It’s tiring thinking of reasons to kick them out.”

“So you don’t mind leaving that up to chance?” she said sipping her wine.

“No but…” he said smirking “they never want to leave.” He said taking a drink of his scotch.

“Maybe they can’t leave cause they died from boredom hours before.” She said feeling proud of her comment.

“Was that supposed to be an insult?” he said smiling ” I feel sorry for you if that comeback is the strongest weapon in your arsenal.”

“Whatever I’m going to bed, you can stay out here with your boring ass & bore yourself to sleep.” She said heading towards her room.

Before she knew it she was spun around to face Chris. His scotch breath mixed with her sweet wine breath creating an intoxicating aroma.

“I think it’s pretty clear we both have trust issues, right?” he said slowly slipping his hand under her shirt, resting them on her hips.

All Jennifer could do is nod her head. She was rendered speechless yet very aroused by how different he was behaving.

The wine in her system erased any inhibitions she had.

“Do you trust me?” he said with a lower raspy tone.

Jennifer nodded slowly.

“Do you trust me with your pain?” he said slowly leaning in.

“I do” she said. She did trust him. He was probably the only one she trusted right now.

His lips grazed her neck. “Letting almanbahis adresi go of your pain means letting go of yourself, your body & mind.”

“Give me one night.” he said kissing her neck.

The thought of completely losing control aroused & terrified her. She controlled every aspect of her life, including her sex life. She wasn’t a loud lover.

She remembered the noises coming from the women he brought home. She laid awake some nights squirming with arousal. She wished she could scream in pleasure but the thought embarrassed her too much.

She loved the feeling of him on top of her. True to her word, she didn’t fight him when he placed the hand cuffs on her.

“Good girl” he said moving down her neck.

“Good girls get to cum” he said gently sucking & licking her nipples.

She squirmed against the restraints.

“You are so fucking beautiful” he said in between slow kisses down her stomach.

She hated compliments. Any self confidence she had was taken with her ex husband when he left.

“Every inch” he said kissing her thighs.

He alternated thighs. Slowly kissing them for what seemed like hours.

He slowly licked up her pussy saving her clit for last.

Jennifer arched her back trying to bring herself closer to him.

“I’ve always wanted to taste your sweet pussy” he said licking circles around her clit.

Jennifer could feel herself approaching the edge.

Chris knew she was about to cun from the little sounds she was making. He heard her pulling on the restraints.

“You wanna cum, baby?” he said in a low growl.

“Please!” she pleaded.

He knew he could get her to make more noise than that.

Jennifer braced herself to cum but the moment was taken from her.

“You’re controlling your noise level” he said he said kissing her thighs again.

While she hated him in that moment – he was right. She was conflicted with how her control issues overpowered her need to cum.

“Only good girls get to cum” he said barely inserting his two fingers into her wet pussy.

“Please! I’m a good girl!” she moaned writhing on the bed.

Jennifer was quickly building up again. Her anxiety over her voice volume was still holding her back.

“You don’t have to fight everything” he said while his tongue match the slow pace of his fingers.

Sweat was starting to form on her neck & base of her hairline.

“I don’t want to fight this!” she moaned raising her hips off the bed trying to get more friction.

“Please help me!” she begged. “Please help me cum!”

He let out a sinister laugh while he yanked her hips closer to him.

He shoved his fingers inside her aching pussy.

Jennifer knew she wouldn’t last long & prayed she’d allow herself to lose control.

Chris curled his fingers up inside her hitting her g-spot.

She never had anyone touch her there. The feeling was new & intense.

“Wha…what are you doing to me?!” she chocked out.

He returned his tongue to her throbbing clit.

She couldn’t handle both sensations & tried to pull away. He gripped her tight with his other arm holding her in place.

Her wrists burned from desperately trying to wiggle out of her retraints. She fought him with all that she had left – her voice.

“No, stop please!” she loudly wimpered. She desperately wanted him to stop almanbahis adresi & keep going at the same time.

Tears started to form due to the sensations she was forced to feel. Tears of overpowering pleasure & fear. She felt herself losing control.

The kept his fingers deep inside her as he repeatedly hit her g-spot over & over again.

She broke. Her body & mind betrayed her. The sound that came from her was unfamiliar & feral. She had lost control of her body, mind & voice.

Her orgasm had her whole body shaking. She cried up to the ceiling as hot tears streamed down her face. She felt a warm liquid soak her thighs. Each wave was unforgiving as it wreaked havoc on her body & nerves.

The feel of his lips on hers brought her back. She didn’t realize that he had already released her from the handcuffs.

She felt him slowly enter her. She broke the kiss when she felt the burn from the stretching of her walls. It was too much & not enough at the same time.

She said nothing but her eyes communicated the pain. The grip of her nails on his shoulders confirmed he needed to go slow.

She held her breath trying to get some control back.

“Breathe” he said.

She ignored his instruction holding her breath in between quick short breaths.

“Keep breathing” he said trying to soothe her.

“Don’t hold your breath.”

He could feel her starting to relax & her breathing returning to normal.

“That’s it, good.” “Keep breathing” he said.

He felt her walls unclench which allowed him to slowly enter her all the way. He let out a low growl as he kissed her.

Jennifer continued her breathing as each thrust lessened the burn.

The tightening in her lower stomach happened quickly. Her clit was already stimulated from the mind altering orgasm she had a short time ago.

She felt herself losing control again but this time she didn’t fight it.

Chris felt Jennifer’s whole body shake under him. Jennifer screamed with pleasure. The loss of muscle control caused her head to fall to the side leaving her neck exposed.

Chris’s mouth latched on to the sensitive area between her neck & shoulders.

He let out a low moan followed by a growl when he came. The sound of him & the hard thrusts into her brought her back again.

The realization of what happened almost startled her. She turned and bit his neck hard. Her nails frantically scratched down his back & they rode out their aftershocks.

She awoke later with his arms wrapped around her from behind. She could feel his breath of her neck. The rhythmic movements of his chest from each breath gave her a feeling of comfort she couldn’t describe.

She moved slightly only to be gently pulled back against him. He made a small noise signaling that he was still asleep but conscious enough to not want her to leave.

Jennifer had a slight moment of panic that she would be treated like all the other girls. He simply was getting a need met & it would mean nothing in the morning.

She tried to fall back asleep and not let her mind run away with her.

She felt him moving behind her. She feared that he would prove her right & tell her to go back to her own room.

“Jen…” he said softly nudging her.

“Mmmmmm…what time is it?” she said pretending to have been woken up by him.

“Want to watch Game of Thrones tonight?”

The sense of relief washed over her. She rolled over to face him. “Sure” she said laying her head on his chest.

“And for fuck’s sake don’t burn the popcorn like you always do.” he said giving her a tight squeeze.

She was safe. She was loved. She was able to let go.