Unspoken desires part 16

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Again, this part is told by Lily.

I had been a legal adult for two months, but still in high school. However, that was about to change. After tonight, I would officially be a full-blown adult. Maybe now Ross would stop seeing me like a little girl in need of protecting. I knew it was one of the reasons he was holding back.

I stood at the edges of the crowd; a sea of caps and gowns swirling around me. Today was graduation day. It felt surreal that four years had passed in what seemed like a heartbeat.

I had waited for this day, dreaming of walking across that stage. Ever since I was thirteen, I couldn’t wait to be grown-up, and now I was. My mother had warned me I would regret not slowing down and enjoy being a teenager, but she was wrong. I didn’t feel as though I had missed out on anything; I was concentrated only on my future with Ross.

Among the graduates was Mia, my best friend since fifth grade. She resembled a burst of sunshine, with her wild brown curls and unyielding optimism. I glanced towards her, spotting her talking eagerly with her boyfriend Alex, who was bust capturing every moment on his phone like a documentary filmmaker.

I did feel a slight guilt when it came to Mia. I knew everything about her, even her deepest secrets, but she didn’t know mine. How could I tell her my family had sex with each other; how I had lost my virginity to my brother? She didn’t even know I was an incest baby. Even though she was my best friend, she would never understand and would never accept me dating my brother.

“Hey!” Mia’s cheerful voice cut through my thoughts. “Are you ready? Today is our big day!” She grabbed my arm, pulling me away from my family.

Alex shoved his phone camera in my face. “This is Lily Daniels, youngest of seven children,” he said.

I laughed and asked, “who do you think is going to watch this who wouldn’t know my name?”

“I might put this on youtube.”

“No one would watch it,” I said in a playful tone.

“So, Lily, tell us. What’s next?” Alex asked.

Mia wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “We’re going to make our own future, just like we always talked about!” She said.

That was truth, but not exactly the same plans we had made in fifth grade. During countless sleepovers, we had planned out our entire futures. How we’d attend college and be dormmates, then take a trip to Paris where we’d fall in love with our soulmates. We’d have a double wedding and always be pregnant at the same time.

I had used to think my mother was awesome, letting me sleep over at Mia’s whenever I wanted. Now I knew those sleepovers had just been opportunities for her to fuck Ty and Sky, and later Andy. Now, it made sense why she always said yes when I asked to sleepover at Mia’s.

When it was time, everyone found their seats. My mother and most of my siblings were here, but Sky had stayed home with all the children. Yikes, I would not want to be stuck alone with 15 children, a month after giving birth.

Our names were called one by one, and I watched as students stepped onto the stage with nervous smiles and shaky hands. It wasn’t long before my name was called.

I climbed up the stairs leading to the stage and approached the podium. As I shook hands with my principal, the sound of applause filled the room. As I descended on the opposite stairs, I glanced toward my family in the crowd. Their smiles stretched wide, including Ross’. There were tears in my mother’s eyes; I was the last of her original seven babies to finish high school. Of course, she still had three littles at home. But in many ways, it still felt like I was the youngest.

After the graduation, my family had a late-night celebration in the backyard. Sky had managed to put all 15 children to bed, so she was outside with us.

“So, what are the summer plans?” Mom asked.

“Well, Ross and I are heading up to the cabin to start on our relationship,” I announced.

“Awe, your love story is going to start in the same place as ours,” Sky said, taking Ty’s hand. He smiled at her.

“Technically ours started in Mom’s bedroom,” I replied.

In the morning, after Vanessa picked up the kids, the trees flickered past my window. I glanced at Ross who was gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles. Although I couldn’t read his thoughts, küçükçekmece escort I could tell he was waging a war in his mind between right and wrong, between his heart and his head. The silence sat heavy in the car; it was almost suffocating.

What do we even have to say to each other that hadn’t already been spoken? Ross had always been my biggest protector when it came to our family’s secret, more so than I had understand when I was younger. He was the first of the kids to experience the incestuous desires, and the one who fought it the longest.

“Do you want to play some music?” I suggested, breaking the silence.

He didn’t look at me. “Sure whatever,” he muttered, reaching for the radio.

The sound of a familiar song flooded the car. It was one those songs from the summer us kids had belted out during love drives.

Hours later, as the car rattled over the gravel driveway, I peered out the window, scanning the shadowy outline of the forest surrounding us. Ross glanced at me, a weak and uncertain but genuine smile stretching across his face.

“Once we’re out of this car, there’s no turning back. Are you sure this is what you want?” Ross asked.

“Yes,” I said.

Ross parked the car, and we got out, the cool breeze brushing against my skin. We hadn’t been to the cabin in years, life had just been so busy it never seemed like there’d be enough time to enjoy ourselves. I was 11 during my last trip to the cabin, and I thought back on the memories of my trips there, the ones I could remember.

I remembered the laughter that had once echoed through those wooden wall, the smell of pine, and the evenings wrapped up in the warm glow of the fireplace. Now, it felt more like a ghost of the past, a relic of a simpler time.

“I’ll grab the bags,” Ross said. He moved to the back of the car and wrestled with the suitcases while I approached the porch. The faded swing hung askew; a testament to years of wind and rain.

I stepped onto the creaking wooden planks. As I ventured inside, the sunlight filtered through the grimy windows, illuminating patches of dust that danced in the air.

Ross came in with our luggage. “Nothing’s changed,” he said, dropping our bags on the floor. He walked toward a stone fireplace covered in ash. “We should get a fire going.”

I laughed lightly. “Are you sure that’s a good idea. One year you almost set the cabin on fire.”

“It was just a little flare-up!” he defended himself.

While Ross rummaged through a kitchen drawer filled with forgotten kitchen gadgets, I wandered through the small cabin. I peeked into the bedroom, smiling at the the old quilts tossed upon the beds.

With a few logs stacked awkwardly in the fireplace, Ross struck a match, and a flame flickered to life. As the fire crackled softly, we settled on the old dusty couch.

“Well, we’re here,” Ross said.

“Yep.”

“So, what now? Do we dive right in or ease our way into it?”

“I don’t know.”

“What? This was your idea.”

“I know.”

A second of silence fell between us.

“Can I kiss you?”

I bit down on my bottom lip, nodding.

“Close your eyes.”

I shut my eyes and waited as my heart skipped a beat and my stomach became entangled in knots. I felt his breath as his lips approached mine, but he hesitated for a second. I had to be patient with him but my insides were burning with longing. We had not kissed since the wedding.

I leaned in slowly, my heart pounding, and with the softest touch, our lips finally met. It was gentle, almost tentative, as though we were seeking confirmation from each other that this was alright.

Time stopped while the world melted away, and my body filled with a need for his touch, to be close with him. My lips parted, and the kiss deepened as our lips moved together. I lost myself in the warmth of his mouth.

We broke apart for a second and stared into each other’s eyes for a brief second. Then, he closed his and leaned back in, kissing my lips ever so gently. He kissed me harder and pulled me into him. I placed my hand on his shoulder while his reached into my hair while his other rested on my back. I felt the heat of his body against mine, the rush of desire overcoming us.

We küçükyalı escort pulled away, breathless. “Wow,” I whispered. “Should we move this to the bedroom?”

As if to answer, he in leaned in again, and this time kissed me with a hunger that echoed my own. I kissed him back, completely lost in the moment. We stumbled from the couch and hurried to the main bedroom.

Ross’ hands tugged at my dress, sliding the fabric slowly from my shoulders. My body grew hot with desire as he revealed my skin inch by inch. I burned under his touch. I worked on the buttons of his shirt, each one exposing more his chest. My hands slid under the fabric, tracing every curve.

My fingers moved down to his pants and unbuttoned them. Teasing him, I pulled the zipper down slowly, but then the desire became too much and I yanked them down quickly. I gasped as I was I watched his fingers slid my undies down my thighs and legs.

“Wait,” I whispered.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s just, you should know, I only had sex that one time, so i don’t know what I’m doing.”

“That doesn’t matter; I’ll teach you.”

With a single motion, he lifted me, and lay me down on the bed. I gasped and my legs instinctively spread as he climbed on top of me. My fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer still, as he kissed me hungrily.

“God, I’ve wanted this,” he groaned, trailing kisses down my neck.

The heat spread through me as I whimpered softly. Every fiber of my being craved more of him. His hands roamed down from breasts to my thighs. There was a wild urgency in his movements, a desperation that me ache for him even more. His breath quickened as our bodies pressed together.

“Are you sure?” He asked.

“More than anything,” I whispered back.

“Tell me what you want,” he whispered against my ear.

“I want you,” I breathed.

He aligned our bodies and entered me in a swift movement, making me let out a loud cry of pleasure. He thrust slowly, allowing us to truly enjoy every movement. Each thrust sending waves of fire through my entire body, making me squeal and moan at the sensation.

I was in heaven, and as the minutes pressed, one I wanted more. I hoped it would never stop and I craved something but didn’t know what. I gripped his shoulders so tightly my fingernails dug into his skin, but he didn’t complain. He grunted and groaned as his dick moved in and out of my sex.

I soon felt my body get riled up, preparing for release. This at least I was now more familiar with having masturbated practically every night for over a month. My brother’s body started to move slightly faster as his grunts became more frequent. My moans intensified loudly as my body began tightened and started to tremble.

I was so close, but felt like I still needed more in order to release. And then he gave it to me, as he thrust faster and faster, sending my body into overdrive. I felt something shoot inside me and he began to slow down.

“Don’t slow down, I’m so close,” I cried out.

He got the message and thrust even faster. I cried out in moans and gripped his shoulders even tighter as body shook even more fiercely. And then I cried out as my body released. Ross collapsed on top of me and rolled over. We both lay there catching our breath.

“What does it feel like for you?” I asked moving onto my side.

He did the same. “You know that thrill you get when you do something you know you’re not supposed to do?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s what it’s like for me. I know I shouldn’t, but in the moment, I don’t care about the rules and consequences.”

“Well, maybe that’s what you need to focus on. Not caring and just doing what you want,” I said.

“It’s not that easy. There’s still something holding me back, like I’m still not really giving myself permission to fully be with you.”

“Ross, we just had sex. How much more with me can you be?”

“No, I mean, to fully allow myself to lose myself in you.”

“Oh, well, what’s holding you back?”

“I don’t know.”

We felt silent for a brief moment.

“What’s it like for you?” Ross asked.

“I don’t know, just natural I guess.”

“Really? You don’t feel the slightest guilt or shame?”

“No, maybe I’m like kültür escort Mom in that sense.”

Ross suddenly sat up. “Anyways, I should at least take you out on a date before we have sex again.”

“A date? You do realize we’re in the middle of nowhere, and you can’t really take your sister out on a date.”

“You also can’t sleep with your sister, but I did, twice.”

“Fair enough.”

We dressed and moved to the open kitchen and living room. I sat on the couch, as instructed, and watched as Ross got to work. He dances around the kitchen as he began to prepare our meal. The sound of sizzling oil filled the room, and he hummed a tune under his breath.

Ross paused to taste the sauce. Apparently satisfied with his creation, he turned his attention to the main course; a perfectly seasoned chicken parmesan, crispy on the outside and tender on the inside. The oven door creaked open and he carefully placed the breaded chicken into it before closing the doo and setting a timer.

I watched as Ross drained the pasta. He plated our meals with a sprinkle of parsley here and a dollop of sauce there. We sat down at the candlelit table, the flickering flames casting a warm glow across our faces. Ross had set the mood perfectly with the candle light and the soft jazz playing from his phone in the background.

We dug into the food. Each bite was a delight, and I was surprised. I had no idea Ross could cook. The conversation flowed as easily as the wine. We talked about anything and everything. It was late by the time we left the table.

“I want to try something with you,” he said. “I want to be close to you without it always leading to sex.”

“Okay,” I replied, but I didn’t know what he meant.

We stood up and he led me into the main bedroom. He lay on one side of the bed.

“Lie next to me,” he said.

I crawled into bed and lay next to him on my side, sinking my head into the pillow. For a moment we just looked at each other, that alone my heart beat faster. Hi hand reached to my face and and ever so gently brushed a strand off hair off my cheek.

He pulled me closer to him and wrapped an arm around me. I leaned into him, feeling the stead beat of his heart. He kissed me softly. The kiss grew deeper.

My hand traced the line of his jaw as his fingers ran through my hair. His other hand found the small of my back, pressing me against him as we lost ourselves in the moment. The kiss grew in intensity.

We lay there, wrapped in each other’s arms, as the stars began to emerge in the deepening sky. Our kisses grew slower with gentle touches and soft sighs. Ross’ hand slid down my side, his thumb brushing the curve of my hip. We stayed this way for hours, our lips moving in rhythm until we fell asleep.

In the morning, we went for a walk with no particular destination in mind. As we walked through the foots, stepping on broken tree branches and fallen leaves, Ross took my hand. This surprised me, because even though there would be no one else walking through these woods, we were still out in the open.

“How do you think Mom and Dad did it?” Ross asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Overcome the guilt and the shame and the fear.”

“Mom never cared, and I don’t really remember Dad.”

“Right, I forgot how little you were when died,” Ross said.

“Mom doesn’t really talk about her relationship with Dad,” I suddenly realized.

“It’s hard for Mom to talk about him with us; she doesn’t want us to see her cry.”

“I wish she knew she didn’t always have to be so strong for us. We’re not little kids anymore. You’re close to 40.”

“Hey now, I still have two years before I reach 40.”

I laughed. “What were they like?” I asked.

“They were so in love, Lily,” Ross replied with a smile. “I wish you could remember. They loved each other fiercely. Hardly ever fought, and they loved to tease each other. He was a great father, too. He loved you with everything he had. He loved us all equally, of course, but you were his baby. The biggest daddy’s girl.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. When he died, Mom was most worried about you. You’d cry out for him, run around the house looking for him. It broke everyone’s heart. Mom couldn’t be in the same room as you it caused her too much pain to see you go through that. So I took you in. You probably don’t remember that, you were only three, but you stayed with me for nearly a year.”

I wiped a tear off my face. “No, I don’t remember that.”

“I suppose that’s why I’m so protective you, why I can’t bare the thought of you going through anymore pain.”

I leaned into him and wiped another tear off my face.