Evolve

 It’s been a year on this journey, craving, lostCrazy, searching, finding, forgetting about the cost.I didn’t know what I didn’t know, didn’t expect to find what I foundEven as I was wondering if my mind was truly sound.I adored that breath hissing at the back of my neckOh those eyes and voices and hands, back to who I’d trek.Pushing me down with fire in your eyesTaking me over, all wrapped up in ties.I wanted my hair in your hands, as I gaspThe sting of what you’d find, my breast in your grasp.Telling me what you want, Elvankent Escort telling me what you needWas the beast I chose to follow, the beast I’d feed.And I was so obedient, so willing, so quiet.Whatever you’d say, I’d grin and whisper, let’s try it.There was no limit, my safeword never spoken, I couldn’tNo matter what, I could take it, I didn’t stop, I wouldn’t.I was proud of that, no one could break me, I was no quitter.Spank me, whip me, demand, on Beşevler Escort my knees, treated like litter.Did I finally have my fill of being at your mercy, ready for the newWhere did I change, how did it go, you telling me what to doMy desire to be punished disappearing with his desire to please.What do you want baby? What can I do? He can’t be a tease.He can’t, he loves me, wants pleasure not pain for me.I wish for that fiery desperation still, but who Cebeci Escort will I be?Running around left me spent in more ways than one.My nose in the mattress for a moment, until they were done.Left me flailing, wanting moreSomething different, as I picked myself off the floor.The therapy that it was, how I found my strength and who I am.Into and out of and all around these thoughts that I cram.Never regretting what was and what they were, who I was.I will never stop craving that edge of them, that buzz.He has it all and more, and now I’m in control, I do what I do.For him, for me, for all the parts of me that are true.It’s an evolution, all of life, including all of this.And I’m starting to let go, move on, change, even with all that I will miss.I was crawling, bent and watching, as I flinched.Now I’m standing, aware, carefully adored, someone else’s wench.