lewis-and-clark

Subject: the Lewis and Clark promo Giant human hands cupped together, hold a tiny TARDIS in them. Jeremy: Someone on this expedition into Louisiana Territory has the TARDIS on their person… “I’m Lewis and this is Clark.” Jesse: Lois and Clark? Well, neither of you look like Terri Hatcher and I thought one of you’d have darker hair…like, you know Dean Cain… Jeremy: (rolls his eyes and touches Jesse’s dark, now jet black hair) I see you’ve gone all Dean Cain on me… Jesse: Yeah, like it? Jeremy: Yeah… (kisses him) Jeremy: That man, that’s Sergeant Charles Floyd, that man… Jesse: That man’s gonna die of fucking bronchitis or appendicitis, and there’s nothing we can do about it… Jeremy: If only we had access to the TARDIS, K9, or the Doctor… Jesse: What we need is medicine… Jeremy: He’s gonna die…it’s written history I’m afraid… A huge forest. They stand on a rock and see elk, deer, and other animals. Clark draws his sword on the Sioux. Lewis turns the boat’s swivel gun on the Teton Sioux. Jeremy jumps in between them all, “NO! Let me talk to them!” He turns to the Sioux, “Howdy…” Jesse: Oh God, the TARDIS translation systems better be working or we’ve had it! Jeremy: Better get outta here, fast, fast FAST! Jesse: (eating) I think Lewis is really fond of Clark. Jeremy: So do I…I mean my gaydar’s going off big time around here… Jeremy: Push Sacagawea, you’re son’s about to be born. Sacagawea: How’d you know it was to be a son? And not a daughter? Jesse: (nods head) Ahuh, he just knows these things. Sacagawea: He special? Jesse: bursa escort bayan Yup, he sure is. His name was almost Ed. Special Ed. That’s what we call im. Our Doctor and I… A river: Jeremy: (in a canoe with other canoes around) Sit down! You’re going to overturn the canoe! (a man, husband of Sacagawea, turns and the canoe falls over!) Charbonneau, Sacagawea’s husband: I can’t swim! The TARDIS falls out of someone’s pocket and careens down into the water and down, down, down to the dirty bottom of the river bed! (doctor is tumbled around) Doctor: I’ve got to fix that!!! Jesse: I’ll get him! (dives in from his canoe) Jeremy: Jesse! Sacagawea: I’ll get the gear! (dives in too) Doctor: (looking at the screen at the giant faces of Jeremy and Jesse) Jeremy, Jesse! If you can hear me at all, I think someone on this expedition has the TARDIS and me and I don’t think he or she is even human! Doctor: A splinter! Scarlioni! (the alien known as Scaroth of Jagaroth turns around and the Doctor sees him on the scanner remove his human disguise!) Jesse: I’m telling you Sacagawea, he IS your long lost brother. Take a closer look, will ya? Charbonneau, Sacagawea’s husband: Why are you talking to my wife? She’s my wife. Jesse: Then stop beating her, will you? Besides, my partner and I, we’re not interested in…women… Jeremy (interupts): …in American women…are we? We prefer Europeans… Jesse: Half. And Gallefreans… Man: You two are strange… The expedition is walking in snow, almost knee deep: Jeremy: What’s the temperature? Clark: 45 degrees nilüfer escort below. We’re gonna freeze to death. Jesse: You MUST keep going. Jeremy: No. We have to build a fort, right here…if we’re going to survive… Jesse: Are you sure? Jeremy: Yeah… Jesse: But five years of our lives will be gone… Jeremy: TARDIS will take care of that… Jesse: Okay, starving now… A herd of buffalo on the ice… “NO! DON’T KILL THEM! THEY’RE JUST BOYS!” Jeremy yelled. “I WON’T LET YOU!” Two Native boys steal rifles from the men. Clark fires and hits one of the boys… A giant wilderness. A giant grizzly runs. Another follows it, men from the Lewis and Clark expedition points rifles at the bears! Jesse: NO, I won’t let you kill it! (he lifts the rifle of one of the men who was about to shoot at it!) You’ve wounded one already, you bastards! Jeremy: (pointing up at mountains) Look, Jesse, the Rockies! Jesse: Exhilarating, isn’t it? Jeremy: They’ll miss the ship, the Indians will have lied about it’s coming… Jesse: so we tell them about it? Jeremy: And change history, naw.. Jesse: But I’m sick of making moccasins, buckskins, storing food, correcting journals… Jeremy: Knew writin and readin would come in handy some day, didn’t you? Jesse: You stole that dug out from the Indians? Clark: Well, they wouldn’t sell it to us, would they? Jesse: They’ll be after you, won’t they? Clark: Let em come, we’ll show em…(raises rifle) Jeremy: It’s just started, hasn’t it? Jesse: What? Jeremy: the war…the genocide… They walk in ten feet türbanlı escort of snow…leading horses… Clark: The Crow have stolen half our horses… Jesse: Serves you right! Clark: Us, serves us right. You and your (says it nasty) friend, are part of our expedition, you know… Jesse: More’s the pity… One of Clark’s men fires. Lewis’s left thigh is hit and he falls… A grizzly charges Lewis… Jesse: Lewis, you’re always in trouble, aren’t you? Jeremy stands in front of another grizzly, “No, don’t!” He turns, “Oh no,” and the Grizzly faces him, eyes bearing at him. Jeremy gasps, “Maybe I can stare it down!” Jesse: Jeremy, no, you can’t! You’re not the Doctor, you know! Jeremy: No, but we have his DNA now as part of us so just maybe… (He stares into the eyes of the Grizzly! It comes at him and gives him a bear hug! He gasps!) Jesse: Oh, that’s not good. (Over a hundred Teton Sioux line the banks of the Missouri River as their dugouts go down it) Jeremy: Easy, fellas, on both sides… Clark: They are on both sides, aren’t they? Jeremy: I meant your side and their side… Scaroth holds a rifle on Jesse and Jeremy Jesse: Give us back the TARDIS, we know you have it… Scaroth: I’d die first… Jeremy: We can help you… Scaroth: Impossible, I must stop the Doctor from stopping me… Doctor: (from the consolr room) Tell him, it’s already happened, he’s just a rouge splinter, he has to be removed… Jeremy: Can’t we do something else? Doctor: He must die! Doctor: (outside the TARDIS with Jeremy and Jesse): Lewis is going to commit suicide… Jesse: Because he loved Clark, isn’t it? Doctor: Afraid so. Possibly. I mean…he may have been murdered too, maybe. Jeremy: Good old Doctor, you know everything…sometimes maybe… Jesse and Jeremy kiss both sides of his face…at the same time…